The Last 5 Years
by evanescentflame421
Summary: Inspired by the musical "The Last 5 Years". Chapters inspired by songs from the musical with a Musa and Riven twist. Written because I love musicals, and because I think it will help me mourn. "All I could do was love you hard and let you go." "What about things that you swore to be true? What about you, Riven? What about you?" UPDATE: I updated the last chapter ever so slightly.
1. Goodbye Until Tomorrow, Shiksa Goddess

_**A/N: So I was thinking about Anna Kendrick, and I was struck by inspiration. Recently she and Jeremy Jordan did a movie version of the musical "The Last 5 Years", and I couldn't help but think that some of the feelings in there related to Musa and Riven. Particularly the first and last songs. So I decided to base a fic off of "The Last 5 Years" soundtrack, though I will not be using all songs.**_

" _ **The Last 5 Years" Background: The musical focuses on the relationship between Cathy and Jamie. They each tell about their sides of their relationship, but in the musical Jamie starts at the beginning of their relationship and moves forward, while Cathy starts from the end and goes backward to the beginning. It's a really interesting dynamic.**_

 _ **I will be starting at the beginning and moving forward just to avoid confusion. I will also be trying to capture the feelings of the songs. The songs will be the chapter titles and I highly recommend listening to them!**_

* * *

Chapter songs:  
"Goodbye Until Tomorrow" – Cathy (I BESEECH YOU! If you listen to the movie soundtrack version on YouTube with "I Could Never Rescue You", please stop at 3:05. Because then it merges into a different song for later.)

"Shiksa Goddess" - Jamie

The Last 5 Years

"Goodbye Until Tomorrow, Shiksa Goddess"

Musa

As she lie on her bed, she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. It was her last night as a freshman at Alfea and she was too wired from the party that had ended just a few short hours ago. Actually, she was too wired from the last few days. They had dealt with so much in such a short amount of time she should be exhausted, but instead she was exhilarated!

She climbed out of bed, careful not to wake a slumbering Tecna, and made her way outside onto the balcony. She placed her hands on the railing and stretched as she inhaled a deep breath of fresh air. Without her consent, a bright smile broke out across her face. A light warm feeling spread out across her chest. For the umpteenth time since it happened, the music fairy recalled what it was exactly that had put her in such a wonderful mood.

Musa and the rest of the Winx Club had been hanging out all night with the Specialists from Red Fountain. After returning from a dance with Flora, Musa decided that she needed a drink. She excused herself from the group and made her way to the refreshment area. From where she was standing, she observed the amazing friends she had made over the year and smiled to herself. She found herself wandering away, wanting to take in her school one last time before she had to leave it behind the following day.

 _A throat cleared behind her and she heard a quiet "hey"._

" _Yo Riven, what's up?" Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she turned to face him._

 _He shrugged. "Just wanted to get away from all the commotion."_

 _She nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I know what ya mean. I wanted a sec to take in the campus before we gotta go tomorrow. Miss F says all the repairs should be done by the time we get back next year."_

" _Saladin said something similar."_

 _Silence took over, but she was okay with it. He was there, he had started the conversation, and he had recently told her that he liked her. It was what she had been hoping for all year._

 _She was about to say something else, when she felt pressure against her lips. Electricity ran through her veins._

 _Before she could react, Riven pulled away._

" _Umm… look I'm—" Riven started, rubbing his neck uneasily. He stopped when she touched her index finger to his lips._

" _It's okay, Riven. You don't have to say anything." She smiled brightly at him._

They stood in comfortable silence for a while, until it was interrupted by a loud blonde fairy who demanded they come join the party again.

Musa sighed a content sigh and felt like she was walking on air. Then she realized she was, in fact, floating. Without realizing it, she had activated her winx. Powering down, she felt her feet touch the ground and laughed at herself. She couldn't believe how ridiculously giddy she felt! And she hoped that it wouldn't stop.

She had been waiting on Riven since the moment she met him. There was a moment in the Black Mud Swamp. She caught his gaze and she felt something within her change. She felt their songs intertwining for the first time. It didn't last very long, for they had other things to deal with, but the sound was unlike anything she had ever heard.

She caught another snippet of their harmony when he kissed her. A few major chords rang out to her before he pulled away.

The kiss had been brief, but it was perfect. They weren't like the others. She never expected Riven to show her that kind of affection. Not now, at least. She was glad for its brevity, because she wanted him to take his time and feel comfortable. She wanted this to last. She was in it for the long haul.

Before the Red Fountain boys departed, Riven had promised to contact her the following morning.

" _Goodbye until tomorrow."_

She had watched him walk away with a mixture of excitement and hope.

With one final content sigh, she decided to head back to bed. She should really try to get to get some sleep while she waited for the next time she'd see the hero who made her feel so alive.

* * *

Riven

Riven was up early. He figured it was about an hour before the first sun would rise. He and the other Red Fountain students had slept on the floor of a training room after gathering all the personal items they managed to salvage from their destroyed rooms.

He wanted to get out of that room and get some fresh air. Not that it had required him to travel very far since there were gaping holes all over their beloved school. Still, he thought taking a little stroll would be a good idea.

As he was walking he recounted what exactly he had done the previous night. He still found it hard to believe what he'd done. He wasn't exactly sure what came over him. It's not like he had planned to do it. It's not like he had even planned to go look for it. It just… happened.

He let out a heavy sigh.

But it was okay that it had happened, right? Musa had smiled at him afterward. A stunning smile that he had only seen a handful of times. Thinking about that smile made his own mouth quirk up in a half smile. He had kissed her, and she smiled. It was a good thing.

He let a complete small smile grace his lips. He finally did something that was good.

His little incident with Darcy had not exactly been his shining moment. He had let himself fall under her spell. He let her manipulate him.

His grimaced at the thought, then quickly pushed the thought out of his head. He didn't want to think about Darcy and his folly. Instead, his mind drifted to the girls that came before Darcy. There had only been a few. All attractive. All decent kissers. All extremely forgettable. He could recall their names – or at least something that was close to their names – but if you asked him to match them with the girl, he would be at a loss. All girls seemed to be the same to him, which is why he hadn't initially understood why Sky and Brandon were so caught up in Bloom and Stella. Like there weren't thousands of other women out there just like them.

But that changed the moment he met Musa. When they first met in the Black Mud Swamp she caught his attention. He was immediately attracted to her. Attitude radiated off of her and there was a glint in her eye that immediately intrigued him. Then she called him a loud-mouth. She was definitely something else. He hadn't exactly been sure what to do with that.

He missed out on getting close to her because of he had been traipsing about, playing spy for the witches. But that was over now.

Now he was getting somewhere. He had never had trouble with girls, not like he did with her. He had never been so affected by anyone. Maybe she would be the one who he would actually care about. Maybe she could break his cycle of empty relationships.

He shook the thought away. He was being way too sentimental. He had only just kissed her. It's not like they were in love.

But maybe they could be.

The thought scared him to death. Could he really fall in love with her?

He hadn't been sure he'd ever be able to fall in love with anyone.

Thinking harder about it, he thought that if he could fall in love with someone, it would be with someone like her.

He decided not to worry about it. He felt good. Kissing her, knowing that she felt the same way – that made him happy. He decided it was okay to let himself be happy for now.

He found himself outside of the gates of Alfea. Funny, he hadn't been planning to go there. To his surprise he saw the fairy he had been thinking about sitting on some steps talking to a girl he vaguely recognized.

Musa looked up and her face lit up as she said a goodbye to her fellow fairy and rose to walk over to Riven.

"Hey," he greeted.

She smiled nervously at him. "Hey."

Yeah. He might have been waiting for someone like her.

* * *

 ** _A/N: So I know "Shiksa Goddess" doesn't exactly scream "Riven", but I really wanted to do something for both of them in this first chapter._**

 ** _I'm still grieving about their break up, so this is mostly to help me process. I really do appreciate anyone and anyone reading this though, and I hope you enjoy it!_**

 ** _Also I want to thank everyone who reviewed "Clarity", it meant a lot to me! So thanks_** ** _FleurDevallee, cybercorpsesnake, ColorfulMusic, Half-Year Queen, Fairy Princess Moon, Akela Victoire, DangerDays!_**


	2. I Can Do Better Than That

The Last 5 Years

"I Can Do Better Than That"

"Musa?"

Hearing her name, the music fairy opened one eye to peek at her boyfriend. They were sprawled out on a red checkered blanket on a hill just a short trek from Red Fountain. She had been contentedly watching the clouds when she felt the need to rest her eyes. "Yes Riven?"

He boyfriend hesitated for a moment, looking uncomfortable. "Did… did you have a good time the other day?"

Musa gave her boyfriend a perplexed look. They hadn't gone out a few days ago. What was he talking about?

 _Ohhh._ She realized what he meant.

She turned to face him and shrugged. "It was okay. Jared's a really sweet guy. I'm really glad to have him as a friend." A few days ago had been when Stella had arranged a surprise date for the music fairy. Musa hadn't been too pleased when she found out about it, and Riven was even less amused. She still had to kill the blonde fairy at some point…

Riven let out a "hmm" and Musa shifted her body so that she was laying on her side and facing him.

"Riv, what's wrong?"

The violet-eyed specialist simply shrugged and shook his head.

Musa moved her body so she was pressed against him. "Riv, come on. Talk to me."

"I just can't believe your friend set you up with someone else," he finally spat out.

"I know!" Musa agreed. "I was just reminding myself that I still have to kill her for that."

Riven made a noise of agreement but still looked upset. "What else is going on, Riven?"

"It's just —" he groaned, "I just wonder if maybe she was right to try to set you up with someone else."

Musa's eyes widened and her heart began to race. "Are you saying you don't want to be with me?"

"No! No, I'm not saying that at all! I'm just not sure if I can treat you the way some guy like Jared could. I just don't know how to do this stuff, Muse."

"Riven," she sighed. She moved to sit up on the blanket and he followed suit. "So Jared is okay. I mean, I guess he was cute and I guess he was sweet, but I turned him down when he asked for a real date. That's because he's not you. I'm not interested in anyone who isn't you."

"I don't get why," Riven snorted.

Great, he was going to be difficult.

"Look Riv, I've seen a lot of stuff. I have a lot of friends in Melody who I love, but who I think made major mistakes when it came to relationships. Now some of my friends are stuck in those relationships and won't do a damn thing about it. My problem with some of these relationships is that these friends had to talk themselves into it. You'd be surprised at how many music lovers follow their heads over hearts. In my realm there are still social norms people are expected to follow. My dad relinquished the throne to follow his passion and then he met my mom. They were connected instantly, they didn't need to reason their way into a relationship. And though it ended in heartbreak, I remember seeing them and wanting to love someone the way they loved each other. Ever since the day I met you, I felt this connection and I was drawn to you. I don't know if this relationship is _it_ for me, but now that I've found you I'm sure as hell not letting you go."

"I just don't want to disappoint you. I don't know if I can be what you need," he admitted, looking away from her.

She ruffled his hair and cupped his cheek, turning him to face her. "Riven, I know who you are. I want you and nothing but you. Nothing but fresh, undiluted, and pure you. I know that you've dealt with a lot in your life, and I understand that this relationship isn't going to be easy. I don't expect you to be Brandon or Sky. I love them, but they're so not what I need."

Musa touched her lips to his and he took control of the kiss. His hands found their way to her waist as she knotted one hand in his spiky hair while the other rested against his chest. He deepened the kiss and lowered their bodies back against the blanket.

Finally breaking apart, Musa let out a giggle. "For one thing, I'm pretty sure neither Sky or Brandon would kiss me like that."

"Yeah, they better not," Riven grumbled causing Musa to laugh again.

"Honestly, I don't want to freak you out, but it feels like my life led right to your side and will keep me there from now on."

Riven looked at her with an understanding look in his eyes. He didn't need to vocalize anything in order for her to know that he agreed. He kissed her again. It was chaste, but still full of feeling.

"Do you know what I think is so great about me and you, Riven?"

"Hmm?"

"I think that we're really similar. Just the fundamentals of who we are. We've led really different lives but at the same time we've had similar experiences and feelings. I mean, think of the bullshit we've both been through." They both scoffed at the memories going through each of their minds. "Neither of us wants to go back to that. Think of what's past because we can do better. We can be better that."

* * *

 _ **A/N: So there's Cathy's song "I Can Do Better Than That"! The end part of the song totally reminds me of how I think Musa feels about Riven when they first get together. She knows very well who is and no matter what she wants him. (At least in season 2 when this is set.)**_


	3. The Next Ten Minutes

**Setting: Set in "The Secret of the Lost Kingdom" at the ball at the end of the movie.**

 **I really recommend listening to this song just because it's so damn beautiful.**

The Last 5 Years

"The Next Ten Minutes"

Musa and Riven

Musa was pulled away from her conversation with Tecna when she heard someone clear his throat from behind her. The music fairy turned to find her boyfriend greeting her with a small smile. Tecna quietly excused herself, leaving the couple alone.

"Hey," Musa greeted with a warm smile.

"Do you want to dance?" the magenta-haired specialist asked as he offered his hand.

It was very unlike Riven. Normally at these kinds of things he was only good for one dance, and they had already used that on the dance to kick off the celebration.

Musa lifted a brow, "I thought you weren't much of a dancer?"

Riven smirked and gave a half shrug. "We just helped save Domino. It's a special occasion. Plus, I talked to the band and they agreed to play a couple of slow songs for us. I'm not too bad at those." He cringed, no doubt thinking about how spaz-y he was when fast songs played. He had gotten better at dancing over the past couple of years, but it still wasn't a pretty sight.

She giggled, thinking back to all of the times she had watched the guys try to teach him a few moves. None of those experiences ever ended well, but man did he try. And like he said, he was actually pretty good at slow dances.

Her laugh made him smile again. "So what do say, Musa? Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes?"

She nodded as she took his hand, and he led them out onto the dance floor. The song was exceptionally slow so instead of attempting to waltz, they opted to gently sway with the music. Musa placed her hands on his shoulders as his landed on her waist. He gazed at her for a moment then leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

She felt the familiar sensation of warmth spreading across her chest. "Someone's feeling affectionate today. Normally you're not too big on the PDA."

"It's been a long day," he reasoned.

She nodded. She couldn't believe that just a few hours prior they had been fighting three ancient hags and the slightly less ancient hag, Mandragora. There was still a faint ache in her back from Riven's blade when she had jumped to protect Sky. Musa had been able to heal herself after receiving the injury, but magic couldn't always get rid of all of the pain.

"Musa, I just want you to know I meant what I said."

His voice pulled her away from her thoughts. She looked up at him curiously. "You say a lot of things, Riv. What specifically are you talking about now?" she asked with a small smile playing at her lips.

Riven looked at her with a look that was hard to comprehend. It was a soulful look that was remorseful, apologetic, and sincere. "I meant it when I said I was fighting for you."

"Oh," was all she managed to get out. She wanted to say more, but couldn't find the words. That look, him holding her, his words, it was all so overwhelming.

Evidently he could see that she was struggling with herself because he simply smiled at her. A small, secret smile that he reserved for teasing and joking with her.

"Musa, today made me realize that I've always been fighting for you." When she didn't say anything, he continued. "All my life, I've been alone. My mother abandoned me after giving birth to me, and though I was moved from home to home I really grew up on the streets. My life has been hard, and I never really forgave her for that. It's never been easy for me to get along with people. I learned a long time ago that finding loyal and trustworthy people is hard, and people are good at manipulating others to get whatever they need. I always kept my distance to avoid being used." He let out a mirthless laugh. "As you can tell, that's worked _really well_ so far. First Darcy, now a handful of ancient hags."

He turned away slightly as another look of regret flitted over his face. When he looked back to Musa it melted away. "But with you, Musa, I couldn't help but want to be close to you. There was something about you that intrigued me. It was instantaneous. It scared me for the longest time. That type of thing didn't happen to me; I wasn't supposed to feel connected to anything. So I acted cold, and I know you didn't deserve it, but I didn't know how else to deal with this." He moved a hand to gesture between the two of them. "I think I've known it for a long time, but today I finally accepted the fact that you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me and my reason for everything I do. I know I don't say it enough, but I love you. I am so in love with you, Musa. I can't imagine a life without you."

The music fairy inhaled sharply and Riven wiped a tear away from her eye. With the end of his speech came the conclusion of the first song. The next song was a waltz, so they adjusted their stances slightly and found a rhythm before Musa sighed.

"Riven, I know you're not perfect, and I know I'm not either. You're cold and distant. I'm overemotional and sensitive, though I try to play it off. We both have parental issues of different natures. This relationship hasn't exactly been an easy one." She stopped and considered what to say next. "I told you a long time ago that something changed when I met you. That I think it was supposed to happen. I still believe that today."

She had to stop as more tears streamed down her face. She cleared her throat as it began to tighten. "I'm not sure if it really was meant to be, it's just what I believe. I don't know everything." She paused and shook her head, wishing she would stop crying. After a few moments, she realized that wasn't going to happen so she went on. "I don't know why people run. I don't know why things fall through. I don't know how anybody survives in this life without someone like you. Riven, I love you so much. I love every moment of the time we've spent together – even the moments I hated. Our relationship is such a unique and special one. It's not like our friends' relationships, but we're still here and together just as much as they are. I just want you to know that I am in this. I have always been all in. I want to die knowing I spent a long, full life in your arms. For the next ten lifetimes, I will be all in."

"I am too, Musa. Forever." He wiped the remaining tears away from face.

She leaned into his chest. "Forever," she confirmed. "'Til the worlds explode. All of them. Not just one because, honestly, with our luck at least one world will explode at some point."

He chuckled. "'Til the worlds explode."

The waltz came to an end.

They looked at each other before leaning into each other and sharing a kiss.

Sharing ten minutes hadn't been enough. They weren't sure any amount of minutes together would be enough for either of them.

But it was a start.


	4. If I Didn't Believe in You

**Setting: Set in season four between "Diana's Redemption" and "The Fairy of Justice" (episodes 20 and 21).**

The Last 5 Years

"If I Didn't Believe in You"

Riven

"I really don't want to go to a stupid party!" Musa exclaimed as she stomped away from their group of friends and onto the beach.

Riven quickly followed her out of the Frutti Music Bar and grabbed her arm. "Hey Musa, wait! What's going on?"

Musa stopped and turned to face the boyfriend she had just reconciled with. "I-I just think it's a waste of time! What's the point?"

Riven couldn't help but to get upset and raise his voice, " _What's the point?_ There's going to be a party where the guys and I are getting honored for how well we've done at Red Fountain. How well _I've_ done, Musa! I'm going and I want you there with me. That's the point!"

Not liking Riven's tone, Musa raised her voice to match his. "Well I have better things to do with my time!"

She tried to storm away again, but Riven caught both of her arms and kept her still. Normally Musa would be excited about a party, especially one paying tribute to people she cared about. Something else had to be going on.

"Muse, stop. What's this really about? Is it really about a party, Musa?" He paused and took a wild guess. "Is it just that you're disappointed that you're struggling so much with Morgana? Did you think this would be easier than it's turned out to be?"

Musa looked away from him, trying to hide the frustration and disappointment on her face. Riven knew he was right on the money.

"Musa, you know this will all work out, right? You may need more than your Believix powers, but you'll get through this."

Musa scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"You _do_ know you'll get through this, right?"

"No, I don't know that, Riven!" she shouted. "I don't know if I can do this," she admitted.

"Well I know you will."

She gave him a look saying she didn't believe him. She was in her stubborn mood.

"Look Musa, if I didn't believe in you, we'd never have gotten this far. If I wasn't certain that you'd pull through somehow, I wouldn't be standing here now."

"We just got back together. A few days ago we wouldn't have been here now," she snapped.

"And whose fault was that? I didn't end it, Musa!" he shot back.

"Well I'm sorry that I didn't feel like you were being very supportive!" She yanked her arms away from him and took a step back. "You were rude to Jason, you were rude to Andy and the guys, and you left me, Riven. You left me alone at the audition!" Tears started to form in her eyes and she wiped at them furiously. "How do you think that made me feel, Riven?"

His voice softened. He knew very well that he had hurt her. "I'm so sorry about—"

She interrupted him as she started pacing. "How do you think all of this makes me feel, Riven? A whole world is hanging by a thread and it's up to us to save it! _Again!_ I didn't ask for this, you know? I didn't ask for some fairy hunters to come crash-land at Alfea demanding the last fairy of Earth. I did not sign up to unleashing a group of vengeful fairies who are stronger than we are!" She shook her head. "The fairy hunters, the psycho vengeful fairies, the pet shop, the record deal, and our band. It's just _so_ much. Now you want me to go _to_ a party when I have all these other things to worry about, huh?" She dragged a hand through her hair, like fixing her hair would help fix her dilemmas. "I'm barely hanging in now. I needed you to believe in me, Riven, and you walked away."

He stood watching as she tried to quiet her sobs. It was hard for him to see her like this. It was hard because it was moments like this that reminded him that she truly didn't realize how special she was. He remembered that she didn't see what he saw when he looked at her.

"I do believe in you, Musa. And you know what I think? I think you'll be fine."

She looked up as he approached her and cupped her cheek.

"You are so strong, Musa. And at the same time, you're one of the most gentle and caring people I have ever known. You're beautiful, talented, and powerful. I already told you I was upset about the music thing because I was afraid of losing you. I knew that once you got started, nothing would be able to stop you. It never took much convincing to make me believe in you."

"Riven…" The music fairy allowed the magenta-haired specialist to pull her to him. She rested her head against his chest as he continued talking.

"For the last four years, I have had nothing to believe in _but_ _you._ " Riven heard a noise and looked up to see their friends peeking out of the Frutti Music Bar, watching them. He straightened and began to pull her toward their friends. "If I didn't believe in you, I wouldn't be able to stand in front of all of our friends and say: This is the life I choose. You are the thing I can't bear to lose." He squeezed her hand and wiped away one last tear. "Trip us or trap us, but we refuse to fall. That's what I thought we agreed on?"

Musa smiled at him, thinking back to all the promises they'd made. She nodded. "'Til the worlds explode."

He leaned in to kiss her and they pulled apart blushing when their friends started cheering.

"You're going to be fine," he assured her again.

That night the whole group took a night off from their mission and went to Red Fountain to celebrate the specialists.

While on stage Riven looked out to see Musa's bright smiling face cheering him on. He smiled at her. Once again, he was reminded that he also had someone who believed in him wholeheartedly. She had as much faith in him as he had in her.

The fact was if they hadn't believed in each other, they wouldn't have fallen in love at all.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Okay, so I have to rant just a bit. I feel like in season 4 Musa lost some of her Musa-ness, you know? And I personally got really upset when Riven was trying to make it up to her and she was just getting upset and dismissive. ALSO wtf is up with Bloom being the lead singer when they formed the band? Like, why is that okay? Jason Queen wanted to sign Musa, then he's okay with a new lead singer. If ANYONE besides Musa should be singing regularly, it should be Stella because we've at least seen Stella perform before.**_ _ **Sorry, it just really bugs me. Like, Bloom has the Dragon Fire (Flame, whatever) but that does not mean she should be the center of everything. There are times when I just find her to be really irritating and this thing with the band drives me crazy.**_

 _ **Okay. Done.**_

 _ **Thank you, my loves, for reading. There are only two more chapters left for this fic and I'm really excited about the last one. It's really the whole reason I started endeavor. Anyway, I love you all!**_


	5. See I'm Smiling

**Setting: Set in season 6, episode 22 (mainly in a flashback before that). I skipped over season 5 because Musa and Riven were actually pretty good in season 5 for the most part, and this song was definitely more of a season 6 thing.**

The Last 5 Years

"See I'm Smiling"

Musa

Musa felt uneasy as she walked down the hall toward the training room. She knew very well that Riven might show up and she wasn't sure if she would be okay with that. She knew they needed to talk things out, but the fairy was afraid of what might happen with her specialist. Especially since it had been days since the incident and they hadn't spoken.

 _Riven had been so busy with his training, but she had managed to get him to agree to a weekend in Melody with her. Lately it had been so hard to get him to commit to any plans, so it meant so much that he agreed when she brought it up._

 _Her heart leapt as he pulled up on his leva-bike. She quickly climbed behind him and pulled her helmet on, eager to begin their weekend together. She wrapped her arms around his torso and as he revved the engine she felt a familiar sense of comfort wash over her. Things were going to be okay._

 _To kick off their weekend, Musa proposed a picnic by the lake before heading to Melody. It had been so long since they spent any real time together that she thought they needed a chance to reconnect. Good food by a beautiful lake seemed like the perfect idea to the music fairy. Not too much noise, no distractions. Just them._

" _Are you serious?" Riven asked with a chuckle._

 _The music fairy smirked as she nodded. "Hot pink with neon green polka dots. I don't know what Stel was thinking, but she made Griselda try it on anyway. I took pictures but forgot to bring them."_

 _Riven started howling at the mental image of Griselda in the dress Musa described. Ever since the professor found out about Stella's boutique, Stella had made dozens of outfits to try to keep the older fairy happy._

 _Musa stopped laughing in favor of watching Riven. She couldn't help but smile as she watched his face light up._

 _He turned to look at her as his laughter subsided. "You all right, Muse?"_

 _Her heart fluttered at the sound of her nickname. She couldn't remember how long it had been since he called her that. "Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I just can't believe you really came and we're sitting by this lake. I mean, you're laughing, and see I'm smiling, and we… we're doing fine. It's been a while since we've had any alone time together. We've been so busy and I'm just happy you had time to hang with me. I've just missed you, ya know?"_

 _She took her boyfriend's hand and he nodded, "I've missed you too."_

" _I think we both know that this time around saving the world has taken a toll on our relationship. But I think we both know that we can work to fix it. With everything we've been through, we'll end up twice as strong. So that's what this weekend will be! We'll start again and just keep rolling along." the music fairy declared hopefully as she leaned against her boyfriend's shoulder. "If you want, we can stop by Alfea to pick up those pictures of Griselda before so we can look at them on our way to Melody," she added as an afterthought._

 _She looked up as Riven cleared his throat. "Right, about that – I can't spend the weekend in Melody. Me and a few other guys are going on an expedition tomorrow afternoon and won't be back for a few days."_

" _Oh," was all she said as she felt her heart fall. She had already made so many plans for them. All that time had been wasted._

" _Look I-"_

" _No Riven, it's whatever. If you have to, then you have to, so whatever. It's all right. We can still go to the show in Melody tonight and have you back in time to leave for the expedition. It was my favorite show as a kid and-"_

" _Musa, I can't go to the show tonight either. I made plans to train with the guys tonight so we'd be ready for tomorrow. I actually have to be back in like an hour."_

 _She felt her heart break._

 _Then she felt angry._

 _She tried so hard to be understanding. She knew that training and being the best was important to Riven, but this was important to her! And he was going to ditch her again?_

 _She let out a dry laugh as she pulled away from the specialist and stood up, crossing her arms. She started to pace as he stood up. She stopped as he tried to reach out to her, "Do you know what makes me crazy? I'm sorry, can I say this? Do you know what makes me nuts?" She didn't wait for him to answer. "The fact that we can be together, here together, and you are going to choose someone else to be with."_

" _I am not-"_

" _No, you are! Yes Riven, that's exactly what you're doing! You could be here with me or be there with them, as usual guess which you pick!"_

" _I have to-"_

" _No Riven, you do not have to spend another day training with the same group of people you've worked with for years! You could stay with your girlfriend on the anniversary of her mother's death!" she spat._

 _A look of surprise crossed his face._

 _There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach._

 _He forgot._

 _Over the past five years of being together he always remembered this day. Their anniversary, Valentine's Day, sometimes he forgot. But today he always remembered and tried the best he could to make her happy._

 _It was then that she realized how much things had changed._

 _And now he was standing there, not saying anything._

 _She felt anger flare inside her again. He wasn't even trying to explain anything._

" _You know what, I shouldn't even be surprised. You can't spend a single day that's not about you, and you, nothing but you! What does Riven have to do today? What does Riven have to do to get ahead? Your training, your interests, your plans! You'll push through windows and break through walls to try to pave your way, and I… I'm left in the dust!"_

 _She started to back away from him, "Since I'm so unimportant, I guess I'll just fly away like dust in the wind."_

 _With that, she transformed and flew back to Alfea._

He hadn't tried to talk to her in six days. And she couldn't bring herself to try to talk to him. She spent that night crying to Tecna, and none of the other girls asked about it. They knew better than that.

She finally reached the training room and was happy to hear her friends greet her. That feeling didn't last long as she spotted her boyfriend just a ways away.

"Riven's training… again," she muttered to herself.

The torn fairy began to walk toward him, unsure of whether or not she should approach him. She braced herself for whatever might come. "Uh," was all she could manage to get out. Her heart ached as he turned to look at her. "Hey Riven," she greeted.

"Hey," he mimicked before turning away.

The familiar angry feeling started to bubble as she watched him through that stupid boomerang. She went over to catch it. If she had the stupid weapon, he would _have to_ pay attention to her.

"What did you do that for?"

"I'm sick of you ignoring me, Riven! All you ever do is toss around your boomerang as if that's the only thing you care about!" She felt her throat tighten as she asked the question that had been on her mind since their fight, "Do you even see me anymore?"

He closed his eyes and sighed.

She closed her eyes and felt the tears start to fall. She wasn't sure what his silence was supposed to mean, but she hated the way it made her feel.

He looked like he was about to say something, but she spoke before he could.

"I swear, Riven, I'll never understand how you can stand there straight and tall and see I'm crying, and not do anything at all."

Once again, she found herself turning away from him. She marched out of the training room, hoping to find something – _anything –_ to take her mind off of Riven.

* * *

 _ **A/N: So like I said, I felt like season 6 was really more where this song would fit. This season killed me. That moment in episode 22 when Musa asked, "Do you even see me anymore?" That killed me.**_

 _ **The next chapter will be the last so I want to thank all of you who have been keeping up with it!**_


	6. I Could Never Rescue YouStill Hurting

Chapter songs:

"I Could Never Rescue You" - Jamie (start at 3:05 if listening to the movie version on Youtube)  
"Still Hurting" - Cathy

The Last 5 Years

"I Could Never Rescue You, And I'm Still Hurting"

Riven

" _Do you even see me anymore?"_

Riven spent all night thinking about that question.

And the answer was clear.

Yes.

But the answer wasn't as simple as that.

Of course he still saw Musa. For the longest time, she was the only thing he saw clearly. And because he saw her, he knew how bad things had really gotten between them. He saw so clearly how much he was hurting her. He had been blinded by his own determination and the path for his future that his vision of her was fading. And he knew there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He felt guilty.

They had been doing so well, and all of the sudden he seemed to just give up. He knew it wasn't fair. It wasn't what he had wanted to happen. He loved Musa. But at the same time he had let it happen, and he had to consider why.

The truth was that he wasn't happy with life. He had Musa, and that was great, but he couldn't put the weight of all of his happiness on her. She didn't need that kind of pressure on her, and he didn't want to feel that dependent on a person. Especially since they were them, and when they got into it, it was war. Lately all they seemed to do was fight. It made him tired. He knew that he was part of the problem, but he couldn't bring himself to want to work toward a solution. There were so many things that he needed to devote his energy to. He didn't want to burn himself out on a relationship. Not even for Musa.

He was sure she was tired too. She had to be. This was all too much.

So Riven came to a decision.

As he stood in front of a voiceless Musa, he couldn't help but feel more set in his decision. He hadn't been able to help her. He hadn't been able to protect one of the things that was most precious to her.

"Musa, there's something I have to get off of my chest," he started slowly. "I'm supposed to be there for you every day to support you and protect you, as a specialist, and as your boyfriend. But right now, I'm just not capable of doing either one of those things." He paused for a moment to look at her. Sad eyes looking up at him, unable to say anything. He felt a lump start to form so he cleared his throat before continuing. "I'm not the only one who's hurting here. I don't know what the hell is left to do, Muse. The truth is I could never rescue you. No matter how I tried."

"Riven…"

He stopped when he heard her voice. Before he could stop himself, he leaned in and kissed her.

When they pulled apart, she was breathless. "Riven, my voice is back! I'm fine! We're fine, we can…" she trailed off as he shook his head.

"Musa, this doesn't change anything. You never saw how far the crack had opened. You never knew I had run out of rope."

"Riv…"

He cupped her cheek, and she looked away. "So we could fight, or we could wait… or I could go."

He felt his heart break as the tears started to roll down her face. They'd broken up before, but nothing felt like this. This wasn't over some petty fight. They wouldn't say goodbye for two weeks then be back in each others' arms. This was real.

He looked at the woman he loved, avoiding his gaze.

But he couldn't change his mind. "Musa… I just don't see a way we both can win."

She choked back a sob as she finally turned to nod in agreement.

He waited for her to say something, but it didn't seem like she was going to. "So all I can do is love you hard and let you go."

"You will always be a hero to me," she said finally. Despite the fact that her voice was cracking, it sounded hollow.

He wanted to reach out to her. But if he did, that would be it. He wouldn't leave. "I guess I just have to figure out a way to be a hero to myself," he said quietly. "If that makes sense."

She nodded slowly.

He felt so grateful to her. But he was himself, and he knew he wouldn't be able to express it to her at the moment. "You always got me, Musa."

Once again, she nodded.

He knew that was all he was going to get out of her. He couldn't say he blamed her. It was his decision to leave, but he still felt so much pain. It had to be worse for her.

It had been six years. Six years of promise and hope. Six years of fighting and anger. Six years of building this relationship. Six years of blood, sweat, and tears. Six years of falling in love. And he was walking away from it. And from her.

Watching her fight back her tears made him want to cry. He felt so sorry. He was being selfish, and he knew it. But he couldn't stop it. He should have been ready to sacrifice everything to her, but he wouldn't. That was why he had to go.

Musa had been the one to wear him down. He wasn't sure if he would be able to love anyone else after this. But even if he could, he would never love anyone the way he loved the woman standing in front of him.

God, he loved her so.

Riven decided not to prolong it anymore. He ignored the twisting feeling in his gut as he moved to leave.

"Goodbye, Musa."

"Goodbye, Riven."

* * *

Musa

" _He's gone."_

That's all Musa had been able to say when their friends had asked where he was.

The music fairy felt grateful to them for getting her voice back, but she was in no mood to celebrate. She was in no mood to try to pretend like she was okay. She needed to fall apart.

She stepped into the room she shared with Tecna and realized that Riven was everywhere. She touched a music box which he had given her five years ago. He bought it for her the first day they spent the anniversary of her mother's death together. They had been in a store when she was stopped by its music. It somehow reminded her of her mother, so Riven bought it for her. Now it reminded her of him.

She didn't know why - maybe because she was an idiot - but she let it play as she slowly made her way across it to look at all of their memories.

It was just a song, right? And memories, that was all they were. So what if he was gone? So what if he abandoned her? She could survive without him. She'd proved that several times.

After all, what did he ever do? He would argue with her. He would neglect her. He would make her so angry she wanted to pull her own hair out.

He challenged her. He would look at her like she was the only thing in the world. He saw her. He fueled the fire that burned inside her, the very core of who she was.

Yes, she could survive without Riven. They weren't in some sort of co-dependent relationship. Clearly... But she wasn't sure what kind of a life she would be living without him. No she didn't _need_ him. But he was a part of her. You can't be with someone for six years without becoming part of each other. You just couldn't. All those stories, all those sappy songs, some of them are overly sentimental, but there's truth to them. People write about great loves and that's what they had. Far from easy, far from perfect, but great.

As Musa continued to look around her room and relive everything, she couldn't help but feel betrayed. After everything they'd been through, he decided it was time to move on. It was finally time to do what Riven needed to do. To find new dreams to build upon. And she was still hurting.

Part of her understood. She knew Riven had always wanted to do great things and be a great hero. Musa just never expected that it would take priority over them. She never expected him to believe he would have to do it alone.

She came across a picture from the ball they attended on Domino. That was, what, three years ago? They looked so happy. They _were_ so happy. That night had been one of the best of her life. "What about things that you swore to be true?" she asked as she glared at the picture. "What about you, Riven? What about you?" What about his part of the future they had planned. He had wanted it too. That had been the night that they promised forever. He told her that she was his reason for everything. And now…?

Now she was standing in a room filled with six years of memories.

They promised each other they would be all in. They had their spats, but this was different. This was real. They were really over.

And he made that decision on his own. He didn't consult her. Riven had hardly even spoken to her all year. He just decided it was his right to decide. When it wasn't. She was in this too.

She wished that she could go back and relive their relationship. Maybe then she'd be able to see how he could be so certain that they had no chance. Maybe she could find that exact moment where he gave up. At least then she might be able to begin to understand why he would leave her.

Feeling exhausted from just wandering around her room, she sat on her bed.

Musa loved Riven. More than she ever thought she could love someone else. She was sure that she would never belong with someone else the way she did with him.

She was a firm believer that things happened for a reason. But if there was some great lesson to learn from this, she didn't care. A lesson wouldn't make it better. It wouldn't change the fact that he was gone. It wouldn't speed the time.

Musa heard the door open and shut quietly.

A hesitant Tecna stood by the door. "Musa… how are you feeling?"

Musa wanted to put on a brave face. "I'm…" she stopped when her voice cracked. Now wasn't the time to be brave. "Still hurting."

Tecna made her way toward her best friend as she started to cry.

And Musa fell apart.

* * *

 ** _A/N: So there it is, the final chapter. I cried a lot while I was writing this so I apologize for any glaring errors. I'm glad I got this out of my system, because wallowing is a process that should always be taken._**

 ** _I just have to say, I think their breakup was bullshit. Like I get Riven and his need to go, but why the hell did they have Musa say "we never really belonged together"? Yes you did, and you do. Why did they have to break it off? If Bloom and Sky can stay together while he's off trying to run a kingdom, so can Musa and Riven. Their breakup was too cheery. I had to change it. You don't walk away from six years like that._**

 ** _Anyway, thank you all for reading, my lovelies! A special thanks to_** _cybercorpsesnake, adanethel, **and** AladdinJasmine100 **for reviewing! You're the best!**_

 _ **(Also some exciting news on the side. I'm a secondary education major and I passed the teaching certification test for my content area! I'm so happy. Now I have to go cry over Riven and Musa some more.)**_

 _ **Side note: I realized upon re-reading this today that I uploaded a slightly older version of the chapter. It was just missing bits, but I thought they were important, so I re-uploaded.**_


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